Date
How often do you take a step back and reflect on where you are currently? It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come as a person, the successes you’ve accomplished, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the people you’ve met along the way. Where did you see yourself being now when you were a kid?
When we are children, we follow dreams, and those dreams may alter through time, but we never stop seeking them. When I was little, I dreamed of being a teacher since both my mother and grandmother were educators. Growing up, the thought of being able to share information was quite appealing to me, and as I got older, I discovered what truly made me happy, which was creating and expressing myself. I was able to find a happy medium between sharing information with the world and expressing yourself and sharing what you see in the world. Creativity was not always something that came naturally to me; nonetheless, I believe that everyone has the ability to do so; however, it is something that must be learned to appreciate and comprehend in its own right. When we are trapped in perfectionism, which I believe is the most common adversary of most people, we lose sight of the purpose of life and creating. Because you have to second-guess every move you make, I believe there is a certain amount of amusement in making errors. Gaining knowledge from experience, knowing about what might go wrong, and what works for you is all-important.
The terrifying sensation of earning a livelihood doing what you enjoy. It has the potential to be haunting. The assumption is that everything might collapse around you at any time, leaving you with no notion of what to do in the aftermath. You chase after your aspirations, putting your blood, sweat, and tears into achieving your goals. It’s frightening, and being in a new space adds a whole new dimension of difficulty to the situation. Is there anything I’m doing wrong? What may I be doing to improve my skills? That was something I should have done in a different manner… The amount of self-doubt that comes hurtling down the corridor at breakneck speed, only to be bashed into your skull and leave you feeling a little dazed and confused. At least, that’s how it seems for me at certain moments. While at the same time, one may remark that one becomes used to it… You grow accustomed to hearing yourself yell in your ear that you did that wrong, that you did that wrong, and so on. You begin to have the ability to ignore the jackass. That nagging voice in your brain may be really obnoxious at times. I feel like saying you get used to it is kinda fucked up though you know? It would probably be more accurate to say that you learn to ignore it. You still have access to it, but it doesn’t have quite the same amount of power as you used to think it did.
And thus it was a relief to discover myself capable of doing so. Creating the things I love to make, as well as sharing my own personal narratives through my art and storytelling. It’s unnerving at first, but the sense of liberation is immeasurable. The last time I visited my grandmother, I told her I was writing for my magazine and that I had started sketching and producing more myself. In her excitement, she asked me to show her my website and the work I was making at the time, and she urged me to keep pushing forward. I continued pushing. As soon as I figured out what made me happy, I dove further into it. You’ll never run out of room to explore; it’s like having the entire ocean to yourself. What’s at the very bottom of this? how about the opposite side? Other benefits include unrestricted creative freedom, a desire for more, and a sense of calmness that never ends.
Thank you. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for diving into my world and joining me on the crazy adventure. The love goes deeper than I can explain.
