Do you know how life is strange? We find delight in things that appear to destroy us. Winter appears to be just that for me. Winter has always been associated with bad feelings and memories for me as a child. So, how can one get rid of that sensation that consumes you from the inside out? How can you re-associate a negative season in your mind with something positive? I think it's just the passage of time and the accumulation of memories and thoughts. Isn't it strange, though? As if the winter isn't cold enough for me. It's as if my brain is telling me to slow down. Every year, I find myself asking the same question. I'm having the same internal debate, and I'm never going to win.

"Will it be different this year?" "I will make it different this year."

But I'm not sure; it's still in the back of my mind. I'm planning a trip to New York City at the end of the month to visit wonderful people and amazing friends, but that sensation is sneaking in. I'm content where I am in life, yet the feeling persists. Something has everything to do with me. We're always giving each other death looks, and if one of us goes too close, we get violent.

The winter will be different. I will make the winter mine. A season that won't take from me any longer.

Just some rambling for a Saturday night.