Being overwhelmed is a convenient excuse I use when I don't want to communicate my feelings. Hello once more; I apologize for being absent for so long. I believe my brain is pretty foolish and behaves in very predictable ways, but when I experience severe depression and motivational decline, it never comes on schedule, even though I am very aware of it. It feels godforsaken. I'm hoping that by writing anything down, I'll be able to make sense of it for myself.

I've been playing World of Warcraft all day and all night because it's a simple diversion, but I'm not even sure what I'm trying to get away from; sometimes it feels like pressure, or maybe things getting too serious terrify me into oblivion. I should definitely figure it out instead of writing a blog post about it every year, you know, whatever it is, eh?

I've been quite careless lately, spending hours upon hours playing World of Warcraft as a kind of evasion from the realities of life. This ramble is probably about the importance of taking care of your mental health. In general, I do a good job of taking care of myself, especially with the assistance of my brother. However, I occasionally experience periods of unmotivated, melancholy, and detached feelings, especially during the winter. Yeah, I could blame it on the change of seasons, but why? I need an answer, but I can't think of one. We all have our weak spots, and that's one of them. doom. Rather than muse about it in an annual blog post, perhaps I should figure out what it is.

I believe that I need to begin walking. I've resumed taking my vitamins in the hopes that they'll help, but it's clear that spending all day inside in front of a computer or watching YouTube isn't doing anyone any favors. This emotion compounds because I have been accustomed to getting up early to work on my art, yet during these states, I lack the motivation to do so.

Although I rely heavily on social media as my primary means of communication, I've quickly grown to despise the cutthroat atmosphere it fosters. That's where all the tension is coming from, I think. Although I am happy and fulfilling my creative vision, I keep convincing myself that I am not talented enough or that I would soon fail. It's amazing how much social media can grate on your nerves. And the longer I go without "interacting," the worse it gets. a relentless rush to the bottom. a circular track bowl for your merry go round. When you are made to feel like you are failing, nobody wins.

Still, I have my safety nets in social media and the chat app Discord; there, I can see that people care about me and attempt to communicate to me even when I'm sitting in silence or reading chats; and yes, I may be a jerk at the moment, but I see them and I love them.

this felt good to write, thank you for reading if you did. It's all I can get off my chest at the moment.